were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize