I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
