i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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