if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
