when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
