it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
