kristin has been a bad kristin
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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