yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize