Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
