you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
