just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
cat food counts as protein by the way
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
