I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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