I wannas sexs uuuuu
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm both gender and math confused
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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