I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.