And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.