Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.