From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
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Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
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I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance