very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
