Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize