I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
