That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
