I heard we made out
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
