Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
We have so much sex to catch up on
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
