Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
