you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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