So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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