Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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