I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
3 2 1 whiskey
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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