one might say we're banned from that church
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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