If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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