That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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