Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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