Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
