You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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