What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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