im drinking this country out of the recession.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
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Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
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I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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