no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I have post one night stand depression
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize