I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
i need some magic done to my vagina
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
