Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I understand Curling. That high.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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