the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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