take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
