Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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