I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
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