It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarcasm needs its own font
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize