During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
