i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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