i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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