and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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