hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
