Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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