The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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