I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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