I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
