trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
