i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
