Four minutes until I can fart!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
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As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
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Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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