my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
please don't ironically join a cult
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