ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
