dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
