I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize