I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
