Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
